


we’re not dating

by outeredges



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Mindless Fluff, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, No Plot/Plotless, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Devil Face Reveal to Chloe Decker, a crumb of plot, but not really? they are dating, chloe just doesn’t realize it, chloe knows he’s the devil and is okay with it, edit: mention of sexy times at the end but it’s like literally just a mention there is NO detail, like at all, mostly no plot, pls. that’s all I want., there’s no angst, theyre just happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 09:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22967749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outeredges/pseuds/outeredges
Summary: Chloe and Lucifer are at a parents’ night, and she explains how they’re not dating.spoiler alert. they’re totally dating, but apparently nobody told Chloe.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 13
Kudos: 266





	we’re not dating

**Author's Note:**

> this is a super dummy thought I had and then wrote down but I thought it was cute so y’all get to have it. enjoy. or don’t. I can’t make you.

When it came to Lucifer, Chloe had no idea what he was. 

For, friends didn’t even begin to cover what they have—she was pretty sure friends didn’t cuddle and share beds and cook dinner for each other and exchange sweet nothings in the middle of the night—and she knew boyfriend was something Lucifer would never be. Yes, he occasionally picked Trixie up from school despite his proclaimed distaste for children, and would break into her house to cook dinner or breakfast for them. Yes, Chloe would spend the night at his and more often than not they’d end up sharing the enormous bed, and he’d make her coffee and breakfast in the morning before they drove to work together. Yes, those all seemed like relationship things, but Lucifer didn’t do relationships. Besides, it’s not like they kissed at all. 

(Okay they had  _ one _ kiss on the beach but that was ages ago! And before he left, before everything else.)

If anything they were platonic life partners. 

So, to recap because that was a long walk for a short drink of water, Chloe didn’t know what Lucifer was to her so she simply referred to him as her partner. 

Like when the moms at Trixie’s school asked who he was at the parents’ night she was reluctantly attending. 

“He’s my partner,” she said, but neither Molly or Roxanne looked impressed. 

“What do you mean  _ partner?”  _ Molly asked. 

Chloe thought for a minute, “He’s my civilian consultant at work. And… we’re friends too.”

“Ah,” Roxanne smiled deviously, “Friends? Or  _ friends?”  _

All three women looked over at Lucifer where he was entertaining a mob of mothers and fathers with his antics and stories. No doubt he’d be asked to join the PTA despite not being a parent to anyone at the school, and the thought of Lucifer bringing pot brownies into the meeting made her laugh. 

“Honey, we’re just trying to find out if that delicious man is up for grabs,” Molly cut in and Chloe blinked wide at her. 

“Oh! No! He’s, we’re just fr-we’re not dating-why would you-“ she stumbled over her words, “We’re not dating.”

“So, why is he here tonight?” Molly asked, “This  _ is  _ parents’ night.” 

_ Oh.  _ That’s why people thought they were dating. 

Everybody all night had been telling her what a catch he was, how lucky she was to have him, and all sorts of other cliches phrases that Chloe just realized is what you say to a couple. 

“Lucifer just… he kinda does whatever he wants,” Chloe said, “So when Trixie asked if he was going to parents night he said ‘Of course!’ and then teased me about it on the way to work. ‘Why, detective, are you  _ embarrassed  _ of me? Or do you just not want to share?’”

Her horrible impression of his accent had Rox and Molly giggling with her. 

“That’s just Lucifer,” she shrugged, “He thinks he belongs everywhere and once he decides to do something,  _ nothing  _ will stop him from doing.” 

The women both nodded at spared at glance back at Lucifer. 

“So, you wouldn’t mind if I take a run at him, yeah?” Rox asked, “Things have been pretty lonely since Gerry… and he sounds like a great guy.”

Chloe yelped, “No!”

“Well, why not?” Rox asked, “You said you’re not dating.”

“Lucifer and I are  _ not _ dating!” Chloe cried, and the whole room went silent. “But you…can’t…..”

Lucifer stared at her, and the smile dropped from his face. “What?” 

He quickly crossed the distance between him and Chloe and dragged her outside. “Detective, what do you mean  _ we’re not dating?”  _

She stared at him blankly, expecting him to burst out laughing and go “gotcha!”. But that wasn’t Lucifer, he didn’t prank people. Not only that, his face was entirely schooled which she understood at this point to mean that not only was he serious, he was genuinely hurt.

“Detective!” he said, placing his hands on her shoulder, and she jumped. 

“Sorry,” she apologized quickly, “I was just thinking. And I’m confused. Do  _ you  _ think we’re dating?”

“Yes,” he said, as if it was obvious, “I thought that was what we’ve been doing the past few months and you were just moving at an excruciatingly slow rate.” 

_ “What?”  _ she asked, “So you’ve been my boyfriend, for several months, and I just happened to not notice? Did I miss a conversation or something?”

“You’re the one who started it!” Lucifer said, “You came over to mine one night and started babbling about relationships then you asked what we were then you said that we were more than friends but you wanted to take it slow. Then you passed out, I put you to bed, you woke up and I asked you-“

“Do you remember what we talked about last night?” she finished, remembering the night he was referring to. That was the first morning she let him make her breakfast, and she’d nearly kissed him on the cheek in true domestic fashion. 

“I said yes and that I meant it,” she said, “Because I thought I did. I thought you were talking about what happened later that night when I woke up about your… devilness? I didn’t realize… I’m so sorry, Lucifer.” 

He waved a hand and forced a smile, “It’s fine, detective, a simple misunderstanding on my end. No fault of your own, I’ll be on my way, see you at work.”

He turned around and headed back to his car. 

Chloe watched him go and her heart ached. Lucifer Morningstar was her boyfriend, and she also realized it had been the happiest that she’d been in months. Years. 

“Lucifer, wait!” she called, jogging to catch up with him. 

“Yes?” he turned, and she wasted no time in pulling him down into a kiss. 

She had to stand on her tiptoes a bit, and when his arms wrapped around her she truly realized how large he was. 

They had barely begun kissing when he pulled away with a groan. 

“Wh-“

“Detective, unless you want me to orgasm spectacularly all over this parking lot in front of your peers I suggest we put this on hold,” he said. 

She looked back and saw a variety of parents pressed against the glass of the cafeteria watching them. Molly and Rox gave her vicious thumbs up, and several other parents looked jealous. 

“Wait what?” she exclaimed, staring at him. “You’re going to what?” 

“Darling, it has been an excruciating three months and twenty six days since I have been with anyone,” he said, “First woman to ever give the Devil blue balls.” 

It hit her. He thought they were dating so  _ obviously  _ he’d been monogamous but  _ she  _ didn’t realize what was happening. 

“Why didn’t you say something sooner, oh my gosh!” she cried, “Is that healthy?” 

“I’m the devil,” he responded plainly, and he groaned, his eyes rolling back into his head when she placed a light kiss just below the collar of his shirt. 

“Well, Mr. Morningstar,” she said playfully, “Let’s remedy this situation, yeah? Consummate this relationship because Trixie is with Maze  _ all night long. _ ”

Lucifer smiled at her wickedly and he all but dragged her to his car, “I like the way you think, detective.”

Afterwards, while Chloe basked in the afterglow of a night well spent, she laughed because  _ she could’ve been doing this for months.  _

_ She could’ve been doing Lucifer for months.  _

_ She’d been dating Lucifer for months.  _

And they had plenty of lost time to make up for. 


End file.
